*~* My Husband *~*

I'm so thankful that God chose to bless me with an amazing husband who accepts me exactly as I am, and is strong enough for both of us when we're going through stressful times (which has been all year so far!). He has such a positive attitude when my attitude is crummy. He smiles for me when I'm crying. He knows when I need to hear encouraging words and when silence is what I'm longing for. He holds me and lets me fall to pieces; then, together, we pick those pieces back up.

I love you, Robert!

Had such a great time getting together for Easter! The food was amazing and the company was even better. Thankfully the rain stayed away and we were able to have an Easter egg hunt for the kiddos.

First holiday that I've been okay with having family around. R made a huge deal when we got home that he was so proud of me for holding myself together and allowing myself to enjoy the day. He got some tears later on, but it feels so good that I'm progressing. Slowly, but surely. The pain will always be there, I know, but it's something that won't always be so "in my face" every second of every day.

Progesterone : Estrogen

I meant to update that I checked with Dr. K about this endometrial cancer business. Yes, it is a reality; but he is convinced that with regular check-ups, we would be able to catch it early on and treat it successfully.

One thing he brought up is that women should have a 300:1 ratio of Progesterone to Estrogen in their saliva. (Part of why I'm doing the saliva test). He says my ratio is very close to the opposite end of the spectrum. Estrogen dominance is a large cause of Endometrial Cancer. Not cycling every month is another cause. I have both of those things going against me. However, I have God on my side. Is the word cancer enough to scare me? Absolutely. Is the knowledge that my God is bigger than cancer enough to calm my fears? Absolutely.

I've been such a downer lately that I felt I really needed to share this news and the hope that I have in this situation!

First Appt after the January torture

All day I thought about cancelling. I didn't have it in my heart to go to the OB today. It took all the strength I had left to go, but since I'm at a high-risk for endometrial cancer, I know that I need to have a check-up every 6 months.

I switched OB's - I'm going to Dr. K - he's been highly recommended. I found out today that he deals with infertility also. He doesn't want any labs done, instead he wants a saliva test. He says that this type of test more accurately reads one's hormone levels.

I'm NOT for one second getting my hopes up.....they've been dashed enough this year. However, it'll be nice to get some answers that, in the past, have been dealt with by medicating me with BCPs. Birth control is a band-aid to a serious problem that needs to be fixed. I'm working on ME for now. I'm worrying about my health and not worrying about the family that we can't start. And I feel pretty good about it.