Behind our decision to Foster/Adopt

It’s pretty clear by now that we’re headed down the path of foster/adoption. We plan on fostering children who are “legal risk”, and hope to adopt either through foster care or through an adoption agency within the next few years. We’ve had serious concern about the path we feel led down brought to our attention by those we love. I’ll premise my epistle by saying that we still plan on pursuing IF treatment when it becomes available –just because we’re hoping to adopt doesn’t mean we’re relinquishing treatment. We want more than one child in our home! That being said, we both think it’s worthwhile to give some insight to, as my mom famously says, “the method to our madness”, and we hope to do so in the most gracious, caring way possible.

The decision we reached was not something that happened quickly. We’ve done serious soul-searching and have lengthened out the licensing period for over 1 year. We did not want to enter into this part of our lives without knowing that it is definitely where we should be. We know that there’s a chance the birth mother will decide not to go through with the adoption or the foster child we’ve had for 2 years get placed with family members that have suddenly appeared. What I’ve described will hurt, it won’t be easy. We feel that doors have been opened, ones that we couldn’t open on our own, and we’ve decided to continue on another part of our journey.

Both R and I can understand the negative scrutiny of the foster care system and all parties involved. When I think about where my predisposition about foster care youth came from, television and movies pop into my head. I have seen numerous movies where foster care youth have been portrayed in a negative light, whether it is troublemakers, bullies, or even drug addicts. I’ve never had a personal experience with foster care, and I have never known anyone in foster care, so I was really basing my own opinions on the closest thing I could relate to: the media. The media has sensationalized the view of many foster care adolescents establishing stereotypes amongst the general public. Even news related material that tend to focus more on negative stories related to foster care youth versus positive stories contribute to the overwhelming amount of stereotypes that these youth face daily.
Some of the biggest hurdles these children will face come from this stigma society places on foster care. Misinformation and ignorance (as well as focusing on said “horror stories” from the news) have led to negative stereotypes about foster children, foster parents, and the foster care system. The majority of these kids have been given a label that tends to identify them as "not good enough" or "second class." But we know the reality — these kids are as loved by God as any child.

More than 800,000 children pass through the U.S. foster care system every year. Think of all the children who come to see themselves as unloved, and presumably unlovable. Even the fortunate ones, who are adopted, face problems - they cannot trust adults, believe that they are loved, or understand what a permanent place in a family means. Many adoptions are actually disrupted when these children lash out and display belligerent behavior. Growing up in foster care means existing in constant limbo. Natural parents who don't come through and foster parents who are not "for keeps" breed a deep-seated insecurity. Foster children often expect to be rejected - even after adoption.

I’ve read several books about adoption and foster care lately, hoping to educate myself. In one such book, John Piper so eloquently puts it, "adoption … is greater than the universe … Adoption was part of God's plan. It was his idea, his purpose. It was not an afterthought. He didn't discover one day that against his plan and foreknowledge humans had sinned and orphaned themselves in the world, and then come up with the idea of adopting them into his family. No, Paul says, he predestined adoption. He planned it."

Throughout Scripture, God emphasizes His love and concern for orphans and widows. He cares for them, fights for them, protects them and places them in families. God has called us to care for orphans and the fatherless. Foster Care/Adoption is evangelism at its core – bringing the mission field home, where children are loved, cared for and discipled to know Jesus Christ as their Savior. Caring for the fatherless and adoption is at the very heart of God. As believers, we ourselves have been adopted by God and now have an incredible opportunity to experience His joy and prayerfully consider making “one of the least of these” our own child.
We hope you understand our decision and will join with us -- just two people, who have been given an "incredible opportunity" to make a difference.

Paid for our Vacation

...to Playa del Carmen, Mexico! We're staying for a week at a small resort. We definitely don't want the "family" crowd, but we don't want the "party" crowd either.

This is what we have to look forward to...(I think that part of our treatment $$$$$ was well spent!)