Friday, March 6, 2009

...6 months...


Six months of butterflies and rainbows.


Right.


Life doesn't always happen that way. Lately, I feel like I've lost my voice from screaming to be let off the roller-coaster ride of life. It's hard enough being newlyweds.

I was told several years before we got married that I would not be able to have children, so we'll be going to a fertility specialist in the next few months to receive our "diagnosis". Knowing that I could have to have a hysterectomy any day is enough to make me crazy!! Some days I can't focus on anything else - wondering how long I'll make it. Wondering why me? Wondering if God can truly heal me...and praying for the strength to make it another day.

Trying to live with his mom for several weeks didn't help either...we both knew it wouldn't work, but didn't have many options at the time. Maybe we should have given ourselves more time after R got out of the military. Regardless, we're married now and are living in a nice apartment in a quiet area. No complaints there!


My cousin gets married tomorrow -I'm excited to be a part of her wedding. It'll take my mind off of everything. I'm glad all the attention will be on her beautiful face, because I don't feel up to explaining our "issues" at this point.

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